15 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK…

1. It’s an incentive for staff to show up.

2. It leads to more honest communications.

3. It reduces complaints about low pay.

4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.

5. It encourages car pooling.

6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care when you are pissed.

7. It eliminates leave time because people would rather come to work.

8. It makes fellow employees look better.

9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are drunk.

11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

12. Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at a bar after work

13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk only on their lunch break.

15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up if they can stay drunk

A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.
The teacher says to the first child ‘hello Becky, what have you been doing this playtime?’
Becky replies ‘ I have been playing in the sand box’
‘Very good’ says the teacher ‘if you can spell “sand” on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit’
Becky duly goes and writes ’s a n d’ on the blackboard.
‘Very good’ says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.

The teacher then says ‘Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?’
Freddie replies ‘playing with Becky in the sand box’
‘Very good’ says the teacher.. ‘If you can spell “box” on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit’
Freddie duly goes and writes ‘b o x’ on the blackboard.
‘Very good’ says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.

Teacher then says ‘Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?’
‘No’ replies Mohammed, ‘I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives’

‘Oh dear’ says the teacher. ‘That sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me -
I tell you what, if you can spell “blatant racial discrimination” I will give you a biscuit too.

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Each day, they noticed the boss left work early..

One day the girls decided that when the boss left, they would leave
right behind her.

After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know
they went home early??

The “brunette” was thrilled to be home early. She did a little
gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The “redhead” was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa
before meeting a dinner date.

The “blonde” was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but
when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see
her husband in bed with her lady boss!!

Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to
leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with
them”.

“No way”, the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday.”