A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior. ‘I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’
‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.’

‘I seem to recall that,’ the Mother Superior agreed. ‘So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’
‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. ‘In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!’
‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. ‘You must tell me all about it!’

‘Well, we were on the fifth tee…and this hole is a monster, Mother-540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green…and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted…and it hits a bird in mid-flight !’

‘Oh my!’ commiserated the Mother. ‘How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!’
‘No, that wasn’t it,’ admitted Sister. ‘While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!’

‘Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized the Mother.
‘But I didn’t, Mother!’ sobbed the Sister. ‘And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!’

‘So that’s when you cursed,’ said the Mother with a knowing smile.
‘Nope, that wasn’t it either,’ cried the Sister, anguished, ‘because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!’

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said…

‘You missed the f***ing putt, didn’t you??’

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER:    No, Millie…… Always say, ‘I am.’

MILLIE: All right…  ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet..’

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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook

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TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, sir. It’s the same dog.

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TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A TEACHER

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LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL’S MEDICINE!!

1. Pet Shop Boys – Troeteldierwinkel seuns

2. Smashing Pumpkins – Platgemoerde Pampoene

3. Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Frikkie Gaan Fliek Toe

4. Johnny Rotten & the Sex Pistols – Jannie Vrot en die Pomp Pistole

5. Spice Girls – Aromat Slette

6. Simple Minds – Dofkoppe

7. Mariah Carey – Meraai se Kerrie

8. Joan Armatrading – Johanna Wapenhandelaar

9. Four Jacks and a Jill – Vier Latte en ‘n Platte

10. Queen – Moffie

11. Ace of Base – Baas se As

12. Hughie Lewis and the News – Louis Luyt in die Nuus

13. Iron Maiden – Yster Ousie

14. Ladysmith Black Mambazo – Mevrou Smit se Swart Mambas

15. Bananarama – Piesangmargarien

16. Meatloaf - Vleisrol

Come on guys I know you can think of more band names that we can translate to Afrikaans. Please share and leave a comment with your translation of a band name.