Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit.  I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

A man returns home a day early from a long weekend of golf.

It’s after midnight.

While on route home he asks the caddy if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the caddy agrees..

Quietly arriving home, the husband and caddy tip toe into the bedroom.

The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and here is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the naked man’s head.

The wife shouts, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.

HE paid for the Corvette I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season football tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly rent!’

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the caddy and says, ‘What would you do?’

The caddy replies, “I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold..”

Young Sipho goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and covers his head with it.

He says: “Look mamma, I am a white boy!”

His mother slaps him hard on the face and says: “Sipho, go show your dad what you’ve done!!”

So he does, and his dad slaps him too.

His granny happens to be right next to his dad and she slaps him vehemently in disgust.

Then Sipho’s mom says: “Did you learn something from all this?

The poor little Sipho shakes his head, crying and says:

“I did. I’ve only been a white boy for 5 minutes and I’m already scared of you blacks!”