Here you will find all the Chuck Norris jokes. Read all the funny Chuck Norris jokes. We have over 500 Chuck Norris jokes posted at Make me Laugh. Share and enjoy…

•    Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
•    Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
•    ”One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, ‘I’m Chuck Norris! SAY IT!’ Then he manipulates the deer’s lips in such a way as to make it say, ‘ChuckNorris’ … It wasn’t exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!’”
•    People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris…Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
•    Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
•    When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
•    Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

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Wife:       ‘What are you doing?’
Husband :   ‘Nothing.’
Wife :      ‘Nothing…?  You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’
Husband :   ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’

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Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’
Husband : ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife : ‘Yes or no.’

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Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet.  Why?’
Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’
Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’
Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’

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Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden..’
Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’
Girl: ‘Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.’

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Son: ‘ Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’
Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’

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A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’
‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’

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Girl to her boyfriend: ‘One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.’
The guy replies: ‘Thanks for the warning.’

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A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humour.’

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